Saturday, December 31, 2011
As I sit here thinking about 2011, I realize how lucky I have been with this whole 2011 year of deployment. I know I had my emotional up and downs which of course is "normal." But this deployment was different than the last one. I am sure they all are but this time I was involved and lived closer to our Military Community which helps immensely!
I have never wanted a year to fly by so badly but feel bad for the spouses with new babies or children to where their husbands missed out on so much of their little ones. I don't have my own kiddos but even with my dogs, I feel he missed alot. His puppy was barely one when he left and he came home to a much bigger puppy (she was maybe 40lbs and went up to 70lbs)! LOL he missed the chewing stages, the jumping stages, and the emergency visits!
I not only lived around the Military community but also now work for the Army HRCC, so this helped! I have the greatest group of Military Spouses as my circle of friends but also have a wonderful supportive co-workers!!!!
Me and my circle of friends who also were going thru the deployment always made sure we were there for eachother. I never thought I would find a Army BFF but I have (LOVE YA MEGHAN!) We did find out who are real friends are, went thru the hardships of finding out the hardway BUT we did it. I love these girls like my own sisters. I will defend them and be there for them no matter what... SISTERHOOD!! We did something together once a week at least. Friday night Girls Night Out, which included dinner, karaoke, drinks, dancing etc... or to Celebrate a Military birthday (kids and/or adults!). A sponsored Military event on post which included "Right Arms" night, holiday events, 5k/10k events, and events to help raise money for our Brigade! Also, was able to go the Kentucky Down Derby in Louisville, KY, we went to the free Montgomery Gentry Rocks Homefront USO Concert in Louisville, KY and the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth, Indiana and enjoyed Paula Deen buffet!
At my work environment, also have a new BFF from work (LOVE YOU JESS!) they all are supportive of my moodiness, lack of sleep mode and my days that I need off to work around his schedule of deployment/R&R!
I will get to rest more and pray these dark circles fade away. I hope to not lose any more hair due to stress of the "unknown." Get myself to the doctors to possibly have surgery on my knee and have him home if I need help. And get myself to the gym to help myself feel better about ME (New Year's Resolution LOL).
This 2011 has been all in all very good to me. Nothing too crazy, he is all in one piece and safe. He was a few days early, he was my Christmas Gift and I do get my New Years KISS!
Hope everyone has a safe Happy New's Years! Remember not all Soldiers are home! #God Bless Our Troops!! And let's start our upcoming New year 2012 right! #Pay It Forward! #Treat Others as you wish to be treated!
Monday, December 26, 2011
I cannot believe it's over.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Well, let's see.....November, I have had our 4 years of being together anniversay =) many girls night outs on Fridays, and I FINALLY got to go home to Texas after almost 2yrs for 5 days for Thanksgiving!!!! It was too short but loved seeing all my family, nephews & nieces and BFF.
I have only gotten to hear from my husband once on the phone but get my every so often one line emails, NO COMPLAINTS HERE! Just so very glad that this year has come and gone...IT'S ALMOST OVER!
So for December, I have only one thing on my mind (okay several lol) is to get my house back in order, the Christmas tree and decorations are UP, buy a few gifts for my man, send out Christmas cards and be ready for my Soldier to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I hope the next time I am on here is to announce the happy homecoming! I promise I will try not to be stay away too long!
Friday, October 7, 2011
..then there is this one person who for some reason always comes up in discussions a "local" who does not have the best of reputations or runs around with the best of people.... you try to be nice and cordial BUT when you have the reputation as THE ONE that ONLY wants to be with a man for his rank and tags, THEN it becomes a problem. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GUYS. Don't get all huffy and puffy when you are approached with your inappropriate behavior. Don't start threatening our Military Families and Men who are currently deployed when your laundry is being aired out all over post! We all know you have one mission to marry into the Army Life for benefits and your so called allusion of security you think comes with it. Her nickname well known in our brigade as "tag chaser" and her fitting the whole stereo type of a "barracks rat" (both of which i had to look up online to find out what they meant lol) fits her personality and description to a "T."
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
SOOOOOO, it somehow started with my husband calling me as i was getting ready for work a.m. (which by the way, it way out of the norm). there was something so different in his voice, i picked up on it right away. hubby: "baby, i just want you to know that i am over here at this FOB, there was an incident with an IED and i am okay. i just wanted you to know before you get phone calls from the frg or something." me: "OKAY? are you sure you are okay?" hubby: "yes, baby i am fine. i gotta go, i love you baby..talk to you later." AND, that was it. hmmmm, i thought. i proceeded to get myself ready for work. STILL thinking of his words, his tone, the difference in his voice.
..i went to work, it was a normal crazy day. for some reason i decided to go outside for my 10 min break (which i never do) and i got a call from rear d. his words were "serious injured bracket" and less than "so many meters." (details left out of course).... BUT this was NOT what i had heard about from my husband. IF it was nothing then WHY was i going to getting a few more calls about his "injuries?" WHOA WHOA WHOA, HOLD UP!? my co-worker consoled me and said that "i am sure your husband didn't want to worry you." okay, true that is totally my husband. this is when panic started to settle in... heart racing, hot in the face, someone said my face was white as a sheet, now... a asthma attack feeling. well, got sick in the bathroom. almost didn't make it, then the tears started and wouldn't stop. my mind was going a hundred miles a minute. so i went home early. talked to some of my army girlfriends to calm down. settle down the reaction i was having.
..as i was driving home, i knew the second i saw his name that somehow he got a phone call too... my FIL. yep, my FIL got the same phone call and was yelling, upset, reacting as i knew he would. he should have NOT gotten the call but he did. long story short. somehow someway the company we have been with, same brigade, etc... had our emergency contact from the last deployment before we were married. and mind you, my husband has changed that thing 3 times since then! GRRRRRRRRR... SO i got to hear him yelling (my FIL) about how "we shouldn't be over there anyway, our stupid government,. yada yada yada... got off the phone with him... he had me shaking all over again. dammit.
..so got home, went on with my normal evening schedule. take care of dogs, start dinner, feed my nephew, etc... and then my "next" phone call from the Army. CMAOC (casualty), really? all i really got on this phone call was he was "stable condition" having headaches and ears ringing, oh and pain medication monitored. okay, freak out mode AGAIN! and at this point i ask the gentleman, is my FIL going to be called also. "YES Ma'am, he and "Mom" both are on the list per the Soldier's request. so i knew not to call since they both would get the same phone calls. next thing, his mom (not biological) calls me so very upset crying. i tell her to please remain calm. he is okay. i know in my heart he is okay (but wanting to scream myself). we just have to wait for that next phone call.
something made me call his biological mom.. GOSH I am so glad i did! the FIL had went and told her all of the horrible extreme stories that he was critical, not gonna make it, going to Germany... DO WHAT????????? so had to put that emotional fire out! HE IS FINE.
so, as i am nervously and stressing myself to death. i look online and i see my FIL telling everyone that his son was hit with a IED, lost his hearing, heading to Germany, please pray for his son... "after this, he will be pulled off the front line and will be behind a desk." ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!? i got so upset that i got off line. i was in NO mood to confront him, nor did i want to start anything with the man.
..next day (24 hours later).... still have not heard from him. i did not go to work. i wanted to wait for that next phone call. afternoon comes and i FINALLY get to hear his voice. he is FINE, no scratch, feet never left the ground, and was living it large in the "5 star hotel" at the nice FOB lmao... he said "baby, i had headaches cause i had been on back to back missions in the heat and my ears have been ringing since last deployment!" OF COURSE! i told him all about my phone calls, from the Army to his family, to the constant emails and fbook messages to a phone call in the middle of night from his friends who were so worried about him cause of what his father put online. at this point he was so mad. so my sweet husband said not to worry about it all that he would take care of it. SOOOOO, I went on with my day, got some things done, felt so much lighter and relieved!
..well that night his dad called me and was asking me if i had heard from him, why hasn't he gotten a phone call, the Army told him that he was suppose to call the family (oh crap)... so i explained that he did call me, i said that maybe he didn't have time, he is fine and should be back to his unit asap.. interrupted by FIL with "they said he was to stay and be observed for a few days" and i tried to explain that nothing was ever wrong with him that he had the headaches from this and that and his ears have been ringing since last deployment, i told him that he should not have put all that stuff on the Internet, he scared and worried so many people and none of what he had put was true... well that didn't sit well with him. he then yelled that his mother wasn't getting a phone call and i told him that i have called her each time we got the phone call from the Army.. THAT DIDN'T SIT WELL WITH HIM EITHER! he didn't like the fact that i was in contact with her and he got pissed off and hung up on me.
..so i sent my husband an email to explain all of this. he later replied and said not to worry about it, he was sorry... WELL, what i did not know was that he (FIL) for a day and a half was sending my husband emails about me. basically, he went off about how i treated him bad. i NEVER treated him bad, was never rude to him BUT only called him out for saying lies on the Internet and was talking to his EX (enemy)... and to make it worse, he called me racially offensive words that i have never been called before. all the time while my husband is in afghanistan fighting for our country, he has been having to deal with a crazy emails attacking his wife. my husband didn't want to tell me but he finally did after the fact that his father "disowned" him for "disgracing the family by marrying my kind" and other things.
..HOW DID IT GET THIS FAR? i don't understand and i don't get it. i am a good person. i know i have to let this go but it's his father. this somehow in time i hope will all work itself out. right? UGH
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
- ..WHAT'S ON MY MIND? hmmm, so many things are clogging up my thoughts right now. First of course is the obvious, my husband is deployed. DUH! joking aside, I am bothered by all of this Government shut down. When it all started to come about, I was told it happens every few years and sometimes it doesn't even affect us, sometimes it doesn't happen, oh and one time it lasted 21 days....
- SOOOOO, now that I am married to an Active Duty Soldier, surrounded by the life and the Army AND work on post. Yep. It's affected me all the way around! I said to myself, "oh, don't worry. It will all be okay (famous words my husband tells me on a daily basis)." But now, I am having doubts. It's constantly on the news, on my facebook feed, my twitter timeline, my fellow army blogs (see, its contagious) and well, pretty much everywhere right now. UGH, stop torching us. Pass the damn Bill and let us move on... Really not all of us (military families) get paid the big $$$. We truly are living check to check. We budget, we use coupons, we buy generics, we do what we have to do to make our little paycheck last! So hurry up and make a decision cause I have something more serious to worry about... my husband is defending YOUR FREEDOM! #sigh... #deep breath...
- OK. now, next thing on my mind. Really sad that I am so far away from my family. So many things going on, ugh. My younger cousin lost his first child :( this past week. No known cause yet but he was 4mths old, so my heart aches for him. Also, step dad in hospital and levels for diabetes are off the chart to where he crashed in the hospital. I could name a couple more things but I won't...
- On to the next thing, I cannot believe Pia got kicked off of American Idol! OY lol well I can think of so many more things on my mind, but I will keep those for later. ;)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wtheck!? I cannot believe I slept in so late AND I actually slept! I truly woke up and felt that I could have slept a few more hours. My eyes are still puffy, I am still drinking coffee, still feeling groggy BUT I so needed that extra sleep. I haven't slept like that in months! This past week has been very long, emotional, stressful and didn't end fast enough.
Work has been a nightmare, already difficult working for the Army and then add a negative co-worker is the icing on the cake or is it the tip of the iceberg? ADD the whole insomnia thing from deployment and this girl who has already been emotional (which i was before) and depressed AND exhausted (this list could really go on and on...) But for some reason, this week has been rough. I think I had figured I was barely getting about 4 hours of sleep, some nights maybe less than that.
Missing your Soldier, your best friend, your husband is really hard in itself. Always worrying about him, always wanting to know if he is getting enough food, sleep, mail, etc.. Its what we do. Being apart from him is not easy but WE do our best to keep this side of the water going, keepin ourselves busy, and makin sure its all the same when he gets home.
So SANDMAN, thank you for helping me get some ZZZZZZZ's. It was nice of you to visit! I hope this means you will visit me more often.
Monday, March 21, 2011
i have been mailing out care packages, buying more stuff for care packages, putting together scentsy catalogs and mailing them out. UGH so exhausting to trying to keep oneself BUSY.
well, i somehow got myself signed up for Relay for Life and Red Cross 5k (great for my exercise and on the same weekend, OY wish me luck on that! lol) and two great causes!
spring break is next month for my nephew. gotta do something for him that week (but i still have to work).
now i am just rambling... COME ON TIME tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock........
Saturday, March 5, 2011
i don't get to hear from him as often as some others do but when he does call, i am so very thankful and blessed to hear his voice, he seems to always say the right things to me and does things like this!!! thank you God for sending him into my life!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Chillin at home, windows opened (first time this new year) 64 degrees, no sun but its nice for a change, washing clothes, gonna do some dishes and vacuum the floors! I am on it today! Ugh need to go to the grocery story but i don't wanna... oh well. Today is a good day! Have a great President's Day off!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
i'm tired, i am not sleeping, but have a hard time getting myself out of bed and just wish i could not do anything. but i continue my life like i'm suppose to. i wish i could hear his voice when i need it but know that where he is, it's not possible. i miss him very much.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
i think i am frustrated cause first, it's Valentine's Weekend. second and really the main reason is that his time to use the phone, internet and showers is all on a "scheduled" time. so basically, if they are on missions etc.. and they miss their time, they have to wait every few days to try again. so basically its goes weeks for me not to hear his voice (yes i know it happens), i always seem to miss him emails by less than an hour, i work so i can't get his calls cause my phone doesnt work in the building, and on and on and on.... talked to another wife and she seemed to be annoyed that hers it at a place where he gets to be on the phone everyday and she seemed to be bothered by it! really? it was like she was talking to him too much or something. i would love to hear his voice everyday! and not getting to shower on his "scheduled" time cause he is out doing his job. that really makes me mad. almost a month and no shower when he can get one but since its not a good time he can't? UGH. i could be really more mad at myself for not staying up and or hearing his emails alerts.
and i had read an email someone had sent me, it's "things not to say to a Military spouse/wife" and people do seem to say dumb things that rub ya wrong. i guess i had too many of the dumb things said and now i'm in a bad mood. it sure doesn't help. i know this whole stupid bah hum bug feeling will go away...when i can hear from him =)
so everyone else have a better Valentine's weekend...
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
..this isn't just any birthday, this is my 40th birthday. the big one that i would love to share with my man. YES, i am having my little pity party but hey i'm allowed. i have plans to hang out with some co-workers and army wives. so i won't be alone. i am going to make the best of it.
and....i got a call this morning! all worries are OUT THE WINDOW! whoo hooo! it's My Party weekend, my birthday and I am going to have fun no matter what!
Friday, January 28, 2011
I'm at the point where I think I want to rush home and tell him how my day went or doing one of my "samisms" as he calls it. and he would shake his head in "I can't believe she did it but not surprised LOOK." This whole first month time frame is suppose to be the hardest and dang those women are right!
Getting an email from FRG stating that our Soldiers are at a FOB that doesn't have running water or waiting on plumbing parts, non working Internet and phones but have a technician coming from the states to help fix it AND WILL TAKE A FEW WEEKS OR A MONTH to get working is not what a spouse wants to here. SOooooooo my point of it all is that we need Telepathy STAT! Cause I hope my sweet Soldier knows, hears... my thoughts and prayers...
I know he won't be able to read this for awhile, but I love you baby, sweet dreams. XOXOXO
Saturday, January 22, 2011
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
to think, to NOT see your soulmate, best friend, lover, husband, spouse for 350 days out of 365 days in a year (that's 15 days given to you for R&R). UGH. so my countdown has begun. IS IT 2012 yet? lol
until then my sweet soldier...
No matter where we are, we will always be looking at the same stars.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Our Jeep did not touch pavement for over 11 hours and I got to see parts of Kentucky (was in 4 counties that day). I can actually say, I have been in the BackWoods of Kentucky! lol