Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Being Thankful

Holidays are here... it brings up all kinds of different feelings for "us" Military spouses. Being away from our loved ones, friends, homesick, upcoming deployment.... I really could go on and on... but I won't. I will NOT be a holiday scrooge!
I have lots to be thankful for ...
I am thankful for my wonderful husband.
I am thankful for my wonderful husband being home this Thanksgiving Day.
I am thankful for us having a roof over our heads and food in our fridge.
I am thankful for my family back home that I miss dearly.
I am thankful for my friends that still keep in contact with me no matter where I am.
I am thankful for the job I got after 21 mths of unemployment. :)
I am thankful for my sweet Army family I will be with on Thanksgiving Day.
and Thank You God for Life itself!
now it's your turn, What are you Thankful for?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

not enough time...

..i sit here listening to my husband playing some video games (no not COD black ops lol) and i am overwhelmed with sadness. i have been for about a week or so. i guess it all started when he brought home all of his new multi cam gear for Afghanistan. has it really been 16 months since he came home from the first deployment? Ugh. where did the time go? we had "plans" to do more before his 2nd and now i feel we do not have enough time....

i sat down the other day and figured out that i have had him home (states side) for 2 years and the other year he was in Afghanistan... BUT with him leaving another year, it will be 2 years home, 2 years gone. Wow? that seems so weird. i had heard stories like this but never thought it would be me.

i know that every one that has loved a soldier knows this is the way of military life. but i can tell you that is doesn't make it any easier to swallow, to hide, to control or to deal with. (i swear these emotions have got the best of me this week).

a couple of days ago i received his "schedule" of what's to come until "D" day and damn those tears. reality is NOW setting in. gear is being already shipped off, pre-deployment meetings are starting to happen, multi cam gear everywhere, calendars, FRG meets, legal stuff, etc... its so overwhelming. i just need another month or something. i feel like we need more time. lol

we had planned on starting our fertility treatments, we planned on traveling to florida to see his mom, we planned on trying to see more tourists things in our area, we planned on just doing more things....

Thanksgiving is next week, we do not have enough money right now to travel anywhere. It will be nice to just go to our friends and be able to be close and be right back home. no hassles. but i miss my family more than ever right now. And Christmas, well we aren't going to see our family back home then either (no money of course) but we had decided last year that we would not be traveling like we did last year. it will be our time alone to just be with each other (and i will savor every moment as i do everyday with him, even as he is playing this damn zombie game lol). I do hope i get him for the New Year's! I would be very very thankful for all three cause I know that most military loved ones don't get that wish. However, i do know that i will not get him for February=my birthday, Valentine's day or our 2nd Anniversary :( but i can't get them all.

i am sure how i am feeling is normal in our world but i don't like this part. i don't like a lot of parts of this life but no matter what i will always try to make the best of it. like today, i think i am going to put the Christmas tree up lol. it is earlier than normal but he's worth it! cause before i know it, it will be Christmas and then.......

until then, i will watch him sleep, hold his hand, kiss his face, smell his neck, and be as close to him as i can....

dang deployment,
not enough time