Monday, September 13, 2010
It's ONLY a number. I'm NOT too old...
I sit here and look over all my friends on Facebook, my younger sister just had her 20 yr reunion (mine was last year but I couldn't go cause it was on the same weekend that we had PCS'd). I look at all the posting and pics of their families, etc... and realize that some of my classmates are grandparents, one a grandparent x 3!!!
My sister says that lots asked about me, some thought I was the sister with 4 kids cause I always post pics of them so much and one thought I had her son (which in fact that was the other sister too!). I love all of my nephews and nieces so much. I love having all of them come visit me, whether I am here in KY or was back home in TX, they were always with me on the weekends or school vacation times. BUT anyway, my point is... I DO NOT HAVE ANY KIDS. Not by choice. It's just because GOD hasn't blessed me with one yet! (the picture above are my sister kids minus 1)
I am going to be 40 in less than 6mths. I think that has a lot to do with this posting. I am going to be 40 and I still want to be able to have one of my own. But I don't "feel" almost 40. I am still "hip" (my nephew would be shaking his head at me now). I think my nephews and nieces keep me young, they keep me "updated" on things LOL, and I still love to do fun things (still love listening to my heavy metal!!!). I am NOT dead. It's just a number... i love that song by Aaliyah, "Ain't Nothing But A Number." It does also help that my husband is younger than me :)
Over the weekend, I saw a girlfriend of mine and we both are the same age, birthdays coming up soon and she is freaking out. But, her life is different than mine. She has had more things going on in her life. Not that I haven't. Got a younger sister that (pardon my language) won't get her head outta her ASS. I have my 16yr old nephew living with me (which he is wonderful, fun and sometimes stressful but NOT bad). A husband in the Army (nuff said). But turning 40 is NOT going to be that bad. You might want to ask me again in about 6mths how i feel. LOL
I know that God will bless me no matter what. If it's NOT my own child, then it was maybe meant for adoption. I am very open to that. My mom was adopted, found her biological Japanese mom here in the states several years ago and now they live together! My mom's brothers and sister are all adopted. That would be okay for me. BUT (there is always that BUT), I would like my husband to have his own. Is that selfish to say? Ugh, it's always the pros and cons. Always the doubts, the wishes, the yearnings, the dreams......
and once again, I don't feel my age. so that means I gotta get myself to the gym (LOLOLOL) cause it Ain't Nothing BUT a Number!