HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011 SUMMARY OF MY WHOLE YEAR OF DEPLOYMENT, Literally!

As I sit here thinking about 2011, I realize how lucky I have been with this whole 2011 year of deployment. I know I had my emotional up and downs which of course is "normal." But this deployment was different than the last one. I am sure they all are but this time I was involved and lived closer to our Military Community which helps immensely!

I have never wanted a year to fly by so badly but feel bad for the spouses with new babies or children to where their husbands missed out on so much of their little ones. I don't have my own kiddos but even with my dogs, I feel he missed alot. His puppy was barely one when he left and he came home to a much bigger puppy (she was maybe 40lbs and went up to 70lbs)! LOL he missed the chewing stages, the jumping stages, and the emergency visits!

I not only lived around the Military community but also now work for the Army HRCC, so this helped! I have the greatest group of Military Spouses as my circle of friends but also have a wonderful supportive co-workers!!!!

Me and my circle of friends who also were going thru the deployment always made sure we were there for eachother. I never thought I would find a Army BFF but I have (LOVE YA MEGHAN!) We did find out who are real friends are, went thru the hardships of finding out the hardway BUT we did it. I love these girls like my own sisters. I will defend them and be there for them no matter what... SISTERHOOD!! We did something together once a week at least. Friday night Girls Night Out, which included dinner, karaoke, drinks, dancing etc... or to Celebrate a Military birthday (kids and/or adults!). A sponsored Military event on post which included "Right Arms" night, holiday events, 5k/10k events, and events to help raise money for our Brigade! Also, was able to go the Kentucky Down Derby in Louisville, KY, we went to the free Montgomery Gentry Rocks Homefront USO Concert in Louisville, KY and the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth, Indiana and enjoyed Paula Deen buffet!

At my work environment, also have a new BFF from work (LOVE YOU JESS!) they all are supportive of my moodiness, lack of sleep mode and my days that I need off to work around his schedule of deployment/R&R!

I will get to rest more and pray these dark circles fade away. I hope to not lose any more hair due to stress of the "unknown." Get myself to the doctors to possibly have surgery on my knee and have him home if I need help. And get myself to the gym to help myself feel better about ME (New Year's Resolution LOL).

This 2011 has been all in all very good to me. Nothing too crazy, he is all in one piece and safe. He was a few days early, he was my Christmas Gift and I do get my New Years KISS!

Hope everyone has a safe Happy New's Years! Remember not all Soldiers are home! #God Bless Our Troops!! And let's start our upcoming New year 2012 right! #Pay It Forward! #Treat Others as you wish to be treated!

Homecoming 2011

I cannot believe it's over. 

I cannot believe this year is almost over.

I cannot believe HE IS HOME!!!

Everyone knows how their last weeks go. But that feeling to get there is so far but so close. Still cannot believe its right there until you finally FINALLY see his face in that sea of uniforms. 

I have so much to say but having a hard time putting it all down in words.  I do know that HE IS HOME! Thank you God for letting him get here a little early for my Christmas gift but he is home!

I know my next blog will be about my journey this year thru this deployment and on how different it was from the first one.  He is sleeping and I just can't seem to stop staring at him, smelling his smell, watching him sleep with our furbabies so peacefully. 

Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy New Year!!!

HIS Texas Star

It's been TOO LONG

Wow, cannot believe I have not been on my blog since Oct.  I guess when I said I was staying busy, I was really busy! lol 

Well, let's see.....November,  I have had our 4 years of being together anniversay =)   many girls night outs on Fridays, and I FINALLY got to go home to Texas after almost 2yrs for 5 days for Thanksgiving!!!!  It was too short but loved seeing all my family, nephews & nieces and BFF.

I have only gotten to hear from my husband once on the phone but get my every so often one line emails, NO COMPLAINTS HERE! Just so very glad that this year has come and gone...IT'S ALMOST OVER!

So for December, I have only one thing on my mind (okay several lol) is to get my house back in order, the Christmas tree and decorations are UP, buy a few gifts for my man, send out Christmas cards and be ready for my Soldier to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So, I hope the next time I am on here is to announce the happy homecoming!  I promise I will try not to be stay away too long!

ARMY DRAMA

DRAMA LAMA DING DONG....

I haven't been on in awhile, I have been keeping myself extremely busy.  BUT for some reason have gotten myself surrounded by DRAMA.  I have always heard about it being worse when your are in the Army life but dang.  Why can't we all just get along?! 

I won't get into specifics but what is up with so many having affairs? Especially the ones who have deployed loved ones.  I don't get it.  Yes I understand the year long time frame of being alone BUT your married.  I guess I have been good surrounding myself with some really great women and all of this didn't start until our 8mth in.... BUT wow has a lot of shit come out of the "woodworks."

If this hadn't happened to our close knit circle, I don't think it would have hurt so much.  Not only has this infidelity ruined trust among us BUT worse the children who have become so close as well. You come to a point of so many lies that you have to cut them off.  

                  ***SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO WILL UPLIFT WITH POSITIVE ENERGY! ***

then, you have someone who presents herself as "privileged" due to rank.  thinks that she should be in conversations or in the "in" circle.  I didn't know there was a "in" circle.  Really?  Why do these girls feel that showing off or acting a fool is gonna help their "status" of being accepted??? 

I admit, I belong to a close group of ladies who I call them MY friends who are very accepting of meeting and hanging around other families... BUT don't think you can come into our protective circle and start mouthing off the wrong things and expect someone not to get defensive and protect our own.  AND for the Love of GOD do not think your husbands rank is gonna save you! Your only making it worse. 

***THE STRENGTH OF A FAMILY, LIKE THE STRENGTH OF AN ARMY, IS IN ITS LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER.***

..then there is this one person who for some reason always comes up in discussions a "local" who does not have the best of reputations or runs around with the best of people.... you try to be nice and cordial BUT when you have the reputation as THE ONE that ONLY wants to be with a man for his rank and tags, THEN it becomes a problem. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GUYS.  Don't get all huffy and puffy when you are approached with your inappropriate behavior.  Don't start threatening our Military Families and Men who are currently deployed when your laundry is being aired out all over post!  We all know you have one mission to marry into the Army Life for benefits and your so called allusion of security you think comes with it.  Her nickname well known in our brigade as "tag chaser" and her fitting the whole stereo type of a "barracks rat" (both of which i had to look up online to find out what they meant lol) fits her personality and description to a "T."

***KARMA IS A BITCH, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!***

SOOOO, out with the old and IN with the new.  No more drama. Block and Deleted from Facebook. No more responding to text messages or emails... YOUR NOT Worth waisting my time.

#endvent    =)

Each Night...

hello there again night time.  oh how i dread you.

sleepy but the second i lay down, i am WIDE awake.

thinking about YOU, hoping you were able to have a hot meal, were able to sleep more than an hour and most of all IF you are safe.

...AND i think about you each night and always it ends with tears.  tears of sadness that you are NOT here, tears of fear of where you are, happy tears that i am so proud you chose me to be your wife and tears of loneliness that you are NOT there PERIOD.

each night as i lay there i say, "good night baby, i love and miss you." 

Each Night.

..JUST THAT ONE CHANCE

..it seems that being in the Military life and going thru a deployment that everyone around me is PREGNANT. Pre-deployment pregnancy, R&R pregnancy, and after deployment pregnancy.

..i don't remember being around so much pregnancy people in my life. BUT at the same time, several people back home around "my" age are pregnant also, so that gives me so much HOPE that it CAN happen to me.

..this is just another emotional roller coaster to add to the many other emotions you have during a "normal" deployment but at times its very overwhelming.

..i always say when is it going to be MY turn? but i know the answer, i know what i have to do to get that chance. BUT reality sucks. to have invetro is so expensive and i have Military insurance and at "my" age I am not covered for any of the expenses to be paid (believe me, i have already done the research and asked). so what does this mean? it means that for us to have that one chance of having our own little bundle of joy, it means that its out of OUR pocket. YEP, so between my little job that barely pays for our little bills and him working in the Army (which everyone in the Army knows we don't get paid shit) which barely pays for the bigger bills, we live pay check to pay check!

..so now I have decided to sell as much stuff as I can in this house for garage sales. DOWNSIZE LOL and also try to sell as much as i possibly can with my Scentsy business and NOT spend my commission. i know i can do this. BUT i am not getting any younger. i am 40 for Goshsakes!

..i want so bad to give my husband a child, his name sake, to give him a family. and i know if he reads this he will say that he has his family (me, him and our two furbabies) and if it stays this way then he is just fine with that. he is so supportive and i love him for always making me feel so good about our little life BUT i feel like i am missing something. and its a feeling that i have to fight with myself everyday on this cause my whole adult life i have wanted a baby.

..i have never been pregnant. i dont know what that feels like. i have however had many surgeries and have scars to prove that. some minor, some major and one life threatening. i have had things that are hard to talk about, been pretty hard on my family too.

..i can do this IF God has this planned for me. IF NOT, then we will adopt. i am OK with that, just want that one chance to try and do it on our own (with a little medical help of course).

..JUST THAT ONE CHANCE is all i ask.