Velata Recipe of the Month—May 2013 Bacon Jalapeño Poppers

"I made a wreath out of my husbands pants that he wore & ripped while wearing in Afghanistan in 2011. *Made with 2 wire hangers, 2 1/2 pair of Multi-cam pants, his patches and yellow ribbon. He says that they are made with "Blood, Sweat and Tears." I LOVE IT! I took two hangers that were two different sizes, twisted them together at the hanging part and the larger of the two hangers bent to where it can hang on a nail. I cut my husbands multi-cam pants into 5, 6 - 10 inches of strips. I did not use any of his pockets (and you all know there is a lot of pockets! lol). I had all kinds of shapes and sized of strips, to me that gives it more character! I just tied knots all around tightly and squeezed as much of the strips that I could. I used yellow wired ribbon in about 4 areas with a larger bow at the top. I used his patches from his uniform and glued them on with fabric glue. It was very easy and cheap to make!

I love the Military Family!

..wasn't able to post in the "air" last night BUT my first flight, I was sitting on a 17 row small airplane (2 seats then 2 seaters lol) and I pulled out a book that BIL bought for goose about Military stuff. One lady beside me was a Military wife with two kids who are graduating from basic one week apart. Another lady heard us and was teary eyed had just sent her son off for his first deployment (both had been visiting Ft Hood). How ironic! We had such a pleasant conversation, trying to console the newbie mom on her first deployment, gave her advise..."don't watch the news!" "keep busy" & "send lots of care packages" We left eachother on our separate ways with big hugs and good lucks! I love the Military Family!

LIFE OF A TRAVELING ARMY WIFE

So much in a Month in a half... WOW! So, we moved in the first of July and didn't get our belonging until the 19th with missing items and many things damaged. One week later my mother, a sister and grandma came to stay for a week. They left and then four days later my younger sister and total of 6 nephews and nieces drove up from TX to visit. Sister stayed 5 days and flew home so I could use her vehicle with more seats. Kiddos stayed for over 3 weeks and in between that my hubby's friend stayed for 3 days (had appointments at the Pentagon) and we all went site seeing as much as we could! I drove 5 nephews and nieces back (one stayed behind to stay with us) to Texas we go.... I stayed in TX for a week and visited as much family and friends as I could. Flew back and here I am. Here it is middle of August. I still have everything in boxes lol YIKES! So gotta get back in the swing of things, catch up on my school work, emails, Scentsy Business, cleaning, unpacking, etc... but very glad I am home with my furbabies and hubby. He seemed to miss me. He said it wasnt the same without me :) makes me so happy to hear things like that. I love that man more than anything. Life as a traveling Army Wife never ends... now gonna take a moment to breathe AND drink coffee LOL

Unemployed Army Wife....

.. so my days consist of sleeping until 10am, getting dressed, taking the furbabies outside and then make coffee. sit down, turn on the TV, start the computer up and read over headlines, get on facebook, gmail, twitter and watch soap operas or lifetime. it's 2pm and I am still drinking coffee. usually have my visalus shakes times 2 a day and then start dinner after 5pm to have ready for the hubs when he gets home from work. he's up for about maybe 2 hours and he's out for the count. I watch tv until about 11p and then hit the sack.... and start the day all over again the EXACT SAME WAY... what a life lol

WOW 4 Months later....

..only 4 months later and so much has changed. We no longer live in Ft Knox, KY. We have PCS'd to our new home/area.... and are now in the big ol city of Washington DC Area! Hubby is now in the Old Guard WOW! ..have to say, leaving Ft Knox KY has not been fun. actually really sad for me. I met some wonderful people, made some friends that will always be my friends no matter the distance and we have all spread out thru the states and then some in Germany. Bitter sweet. I miss them. I miss the area we called home for 2 1/2 yrs. We all made the best of what was given to us and it was a blast! So now, living in the BIG City and having to start all over is really hard. Especially when the Old Guard is so different than a regular unit or brigade. i know i know, only been here for a month and it will get better. there is SO much to do in this area. So much to see! ..had to quit my wonderful job at the Army Command Center HRC. It wasn't the best paying job but I liked what I did. I miss my bf that I made there. I miss talking to her everyday. So, now I think I am going to get a certification thru the MYCAA program. To keep myself busy and get an education where I can work from home or medical office. ..I still have things in boxes from the move and have no desire to finish it. we didn't have the best Army moving experience. they were 4 days late and then it took them 19 days to get our stuff to us. I hear that sometimes it's longer so I was pretty excited to get our stuff. me and the hubs made the best of our time, I really liked it. we had a big ol pallet on the floor with our two furbabies. kinda like camping with ac :) had food delivered to us and we found some pretty good food places. BUT when we finally got our things the problems started. Our boxes were so badly damaged, my grill and my desk was in pieces and both were not repairable. A few things like glass things are broken. My husbands entertainment center/tv stand is missing but we do have the shelves (doesn't do any good though) and my entertainment center/tv stand had so much stuff stacked on top its "bowed" in the middle and the sides are busted off the henges (it was bought for a certain amount of weight for a tv NOT 20 plus boxes). Microwave had something smash the front of it and now it wont shut right or register to turn on :/ the list goes on... ..SO I don't feel at home here yet. Don't feel like taking things out of boxes. Kinda depressed I guess you can say. I miss my family and friends. This whole moving thing sucks ass sometimes. #pityparty ..so thankful he is home. thankful we have a place to stay. #justthankful P.S. new google blog, where did my spell check go? UGH so if i miss spelled things #mybad!

Being Infertile in the Army and Life

..being infertile in the Army and in Life is really an emotional roller coaster. I am surrounded by new mommies all year long.

..with being in the Army, you have pre-deployment babies, R&R babies and after deployment babies. your so excited for everyone but at the same time you are faced with the fake "smile" and you are really NOT fine inside.

..at my age, yes my age.. it makes it so hard. i have friends who i went to high school with that are GRANDPARENTS, their kids have kids! BUT at the same time i do have several 40+ friends having babies so that really makes me happy and knowing that could be ME one day!

..what i really hate is when people say:

"YOU don't have ANY kids?" "you know you CAN adopt" Why havent you tried BEFORE" "well dont get your hopes up" "You are NOT getting any younger"

UGGGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHm, sometimes you want to tell family, friends and even people you don't know to F*ckOFf!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011 SUMMARY OF MY WHOLE YEAR OF DEPLOYMENT, Literally!

As I sit here thinking about 2011, I realize how lucky I have been with this whole 2011 year of deployment. I know I had my emotional up and downs which of course is "normal." But this deployment was different than the last one. I am sure they all are but this time I was involved and lived closer to our Military Community which helps immensely!

I have never wanted a year to fly by so badly but feel bad for the spouses with new babies or children to where their husbands missed out on so much of their little ones. I don't have my own kiddos but even with my dogs, I feel he missed alot. His puppy was barely one when he left and he came home to a much bigger puppy (she was maybe 40lbs and went up to 70lbs)! LOL he missed the chewing stages, the jumping stages, and the emergency visits!

I not only lived around the Military community but also now work for the Army HRCC, so this helped! I have the greatest group of Military Spouses as my circle of friends but also have a wonderful supportive co-workers!!!!

Me and my circle of friends who also were going thru the deployment always made sure we were there for eachother. I never thought I would find a Army BFF but I have (LOVE YA MEGHAN!) We did find out who are real friends are, went thru the hardships of finding out the hardway BUT we did it. I love these girls like my own sisters. I will defend them and be there for them no matter what... SISTERHOOD!! We did something together once a week at least. Friday night Girls Night Out, which included dinner, karaoke, drinks, dancing etc... or to Celebrate a Military birthday (kids and/or adults!). A sponsored Military event on post which included "Right Arms" night, holiday events, 5k/10k events, and events to help raise money for our Brigade! Also, was able to go the Kentucky Down Derby in Louisville, KY, we went to the free Montgomery Gentry Rocks Homefront USO Concert in Louisville, KY and the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth, Indiana and enjoyed Paula Deen buffet!

At my work environment, also have a new BFF from work (LOVE YOU JESS!) they all are supportive of my moodiness, lack of sleep mode and my days that I need off to work around his schedule of deployment/R&R!

I will get to rest more and pray these dark circles fade away. I hope to not lose any more hair due to stress of the "unknown." Get myself to the doctors to possibly have surgery on my knee and have him home if I need help. And get myself to the gym to help myself feel better about ME (New Year's Resolution LOL).

This 2011 has been all in all very good to me. Nothing too crazy, he is all in one piece and safe. He was a few days early, he was my Christmas Gift and I do get my New Years KISS!

Hope everyone has a safe Happy New's Years! Remember not all Soldiers are home! #God Bless Our Troops!! And let's start our upcoming New year 2012 right! #Pay It Forward! #Treat Others as you wish to be treated!

Homecoming 2011

I cannot believe it's over. 

I cannot believe this year is almost over.

I cannot believe HE IS HOME!!!

Everyone knows how their last weeks go. But that feeling to get there is so far but so close. Still cannot believe its right there until you finally FINALLY see his face in that sea of uniforms. 

I have so much to say but having a hard time putting it all down in words.  I do know that HE IS HOME! Thank you God for letting him get here a little early for my Christmas gift but he is home!

I know my next blog will be about my journey this year thru this deployment and on how different it was from the first one.  He is sleeping and I just can't seem to stop staring at him, smelling his smell, watching him sleep with our furbabies so peacefully. 

Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy New Year!!!

HIS Texas Star

It's been TOO LONG

Wow, cannot believe I have not been on my blog since Oct.  I guess when I said I was staying busy, I was really busy! lol 

Well, let's see.....November,  I have had our 4 years of being together anniversay =)   many girls night outs on Fridays, and I FINALLY got to go home to Texas after almost 2yrs for 5 days for Thanksgiving!!!!  It was too short but loved seeing all my family, nephews & nieces and BFF.

I have only gotten to hear from my husband once on the phone but get my every so often one line emails, NO COMPLAINTS HERE! Just so very glad that this year has come and gone...IT'S ALMOST OVER!

So for December, I have only one thing on my mind (okay several lol) is to get my house back in order, the Christmas tree and decorations are UP, buy a few gifts for my man, send out Christmas cards and be ready for my Soldier to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So, I hope the next time I am on here is to announce the happy homecoming!  I promise I will try not to be stay away too long!

ARMY DRAMA

DRAMA LAMA DING DONG....

I haven't been on in awhile, I have been keeping myself extremely busy.  BUT for some reason have gotten myself surrounded by DRAMA.  I have always heard about it being worse when your are in the Army life but dang.  Why can't we all just get along?! 

I won't get into specifics but what is up with so many having affairs? Especially the ones who have deployed loved ones.  I don't get it.  Yes I understand the year long time frame of being alone BUT your married.  I guess I have been good surrounding myself with some really great women and all of this didn't start until our 8mth in.... BUT wow has a lot of shit come out of the "woodworks."

If this hadn't happened to our close knit circle, I don't think it would have hurt so much.  Not only has this infidelity ruined trust among us BUT worse the children who have become so close as well. You come to a point of so many lies that you have to cut them off.  

                  ***SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO WILL UPLIFT WITH POSITIVE ENERGY! ***

then, you have someone who presents herself as "privileged" due to rank.  thinks that she should be in conversations or in the "in" circle.  I didn't know there was a "in" circle.  Really?  Why do these girls feel that showing off or acting a fool is gonna help their "status" of being accepted??? 

I admit, I belong to a close group of ladies who I call them MY friends who are very accepting of meeting and hanging around other families... BUT don't think you can come into our protective circle and start mouthing off the wrong things and expect someone not to get defensive and protect our own.  AND for the Love of GOD do not think your husbands rank is gonna save you! Your only making it worse. 

***THE STRENGTH OF A FAMILY, LIKE THE STRENGTH OF AN ARMY, IS IN ITS LOYALTY TO EACH OTHER.***

..then there is this one person who for some reason always comes up in discussions a "local" who does not have the best of reputations or runs around with the best of people.... you try to be nice and cordial BUT when you have the reputation as THE ONE that ONLY wants to be with a man for his rank and tags, THEN it becomes a problem. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GUYS.  Don't get all huffy and puffy when you are approached with your inappropriate behavior.  Don't start threatening our Military Families and Men who are currently deployed when your laundry is being aired out all over post!  We all know you have one mission to marry into the Army Life for benefits and your so called allusion of security you think comes with it.  Her nickname well known in our brigade as "tag chaser" and her fitting the whole stereo type of a "barracks rat" (both of which i had to look up online to find out what they meant lol) fits her personality and description to a "T."

***KARMA IS A BITCH, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND!***

SOOOO, out with the old and IN with the new.  No more drama. Block and Deleted from Facebook. No more responding to text messages or emails... YOUR NOT Worth waisting my time.

#endvent    =)

Each Night...

hello there again night time.  oh how i dread you.

sleepy but the second i lay down, i am WIDE awake.

thinking about YOU, hoping you were able to have a hot meal, were able to sleep more than an hour and most of all IF you are safe.

...AND i think about you each night and always it ends with tears.  tears of sadness that you are NOT here, tears of fear of where you are, happy tears that i am so proud you chose me to be your wife and tears of loneliness that you are NOT there PERIOD.

each night as i lay there i say, "good night baby, i love and miss you." 

Each Night.

..JUST THAT ONE CHANCE

..it seems that being in the Military life and going thru a deployment that everyone around me is PREGNANT. Pre-deployment pregnancy, R&R pregnancy, and after deployment pregnancy.

..i don't remember being around so much pregnancy people in my life. BUT at the same time, several people back home around "my" age are pregnant also, so that gives me so much HOPE that it CAN happen to me.

..this is just another emotional roller coaster to add to the many other emotions you have during a "normal" deployment but at times its very overwhelming.

..i always say when is it going to be MY turn? but i know the answer, i know what i have to do to get that chance. BUT reality sucks. to have invetro is so expensive and i have Military insurance and at "my" age I am not covered for any of the expenses to be paid (believe me, i have already done the research and asked). so what does this mean? it means that for us to have that one chance of having our own little bundle of joy, it means that its out of OUR pocket. YEP, so between my little job that barely pays for our little bills and him working in the Army (which everyone in the Army knows we don't get paid shit) which barely pays for the bigger bills, we live pay check to pay check!

..so now I have decided to sell as much stuff as I can in this house for garage sales. DOWNSIZE LOL and also try to sell as much as i possibly can with my Scentsy business and NOT spend my commission. i know i can do this. BUT i am not getting any younger. i am 40 for Goshsakes!

..i want so bad to give my husband a child, his name sake, to give him a family. and i know if he reads this he will say that he has his family (me, him and our two furbabies) and if it stays this way then he is just fine with that. he is so supportive and i love him for always making me feel so good about our little life BUT i feel like i am missing something. and its a feeling that i have to fight with myself everyday on this cause my whole adult life i have wanted a baby.

..i have never been pregnant. i dont know what that feels like. i have however had many surgeries and have scars to prove that. some minor, some major and one life threatening. i have had things that are hard to talk about, been pretty hard on my family too.

..i can do this IF God has this planned for me. IF NOT, then we will adopt. i am OK with that, just want that one chance to try and do it on our own (with a little medical help of course).

..JUST THAT ONE CHANCE is all i ask.

..Rest & Recuperation

....Rest & Recuperation

...it was a wonderful 2 weeks of rest and recuperation. We did exactly what HE wanted and for that I am afraid there will be backlash for later.

...All he wanted to do was be home, he didn't want to travel, he didn't want to be around too many people, he didn't want to be forced to do anything he didn't want to do and I made sure he got what he wanted. He rarely drove-- which is ODD cause he loves his jeep but this time, he didn't want to. He was asked to "hang"out but he just didn't want to. He wanted to stay at home in the AC, be in the same room as me with his dogs at each side, watching his SYFY, Discovery, Military etc.. channels, being on his laptop downloading his stuff.... doing exactly what HE wanted to do.

...this rest and recuperation was much more different than last time. No traveling, No family, No rushing around here and there. I tried to get him to call his family, I tried to get him to hang with his buddies BUT he didn't want to. This time he slept in (which is very unusual), he did a few things around the house, went to game stop, the gun shop, and surplus stores a few times each. We went out to eat and watched movies several times. We were lazy around the house, in eachothers arms, watchin' Shark Week LOL... he sang karaoke and EVEN agreed to have pictures taken (which he hates by the way)...

...for all of that, I have no regrets. I know some will blame me. It's inevitable, I'm the other half, his side-kick, his wife... I hope all will understand that this deployment, this R&R is so much more different this time around. I feel like he is still healing and for some reason he is or has been withdrawing himself from things, discussions, friends and family. I am not sure if it is about not wanting to talk about certain things, not wanting to answer questions, to deal with "it?" I am not sure but I will not force it, otherwise he gets mad. so this time around we did what he wanted.

..it was the best 2 weeks. we both needed it.

..For Some Reason, Sundays make me miss him more

..for some reason Sunday's always make me miss him more always trying to keep myself so very busy and for some reason, Sunday's always seem to make me miss him more. it's more like Sunday blues. sleeping late, drinking coffee, watching movies, being lazy with our fur babies, snuggling and my glass of wine..... and missing my sweetheart.

..the more you do, the more you go..go..go..go...Then all of a sudden you eventually CRASH with emotions. go to my room and just have my own pity party. UGH

i do admit that i have become a disgruntled military wife where everything or everyone gets on my nerves or makes me mad with stupid comments. i do have to count to ten and to not punch somebody. its not their fault that "they" don't understand. kind of like i am going thru the 7 stages of deployment...

..rambling for the day #SCREAM

..haven't posted in awhile. let's see... work, nephew, out with the girls on a friday night, work, feed the nephew and so on and so on........

anybody get to a point in deployment where you want to just SCREAM at the top of your lungs? people get on my nerves, work is getting to me where i dont want to go anymore, certain friends who say they are your friends you just want to #slap, being away from your loved ones drives you crazy, not having a sex life (sorry tmi but DAMMIT), and not being able to lose this damn weight i have gained since we moved here. i feel like i am in a rut. stuck. time isnt going fast enough and it makes me want to #SCREAM.

i know i am not the only one that gets this way. but geeze. i gotta get outta this funk.

On a better note: Happy 236th Birthday Army! Hooah! Also, it's Flag Day!!!!

..Memorial Day

..well, it's Memorial Day weekend and I just don't have the "spirit" as everyone else does. I did get to leave work early and I did have happy hour drinks with my friend, but still no excitement about the extended weekend (yet). It will be 6 months without the love of my life and it has been taking a toll on my emotions. I miss him so very much and I "on purpose" did not make any big plans so I can relax this weekend. I wish I was home back in Texas with my loved ones. :(

I hope everyone remembers what this weekend, this Memorial Day is truly about. I think its great to have a extra day off work, some have a day off of school, great sales at the stores, bbq's, etc... Memorial Day Weekend, ask any Military Families who has lost a family member to a war or a person who has a loved one overseas and they will most likely tell you that Memorial Day is not a celebration. Its not a happy day. It was not intended to be the unofficial start to summer or a big day for race fans. Its a somber occasion meant to HONOR the men and women who have died in service for our country. GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS!

May Part 1

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR MAY SO FAR......

....in the Month of May, I have gone to a birthday party one of many with my Army Family, my very first Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs, participated in my first Relay for Life (crazy hat lap) and walked the 10K for the Red Cross (my 2nd 10K)!!!! And this is just the first part of the month! Can't wait to see what the second half has in store for me!